Monday, May 4, 2009

The Sun Never Sets on the Oreo Empire (Or: The Different Varieties of Oreos Flooding the Market)

I went to the supermarket early this morning with the intention of gathering information for a blog on peanut butter. Instead, I was totally transfixed by the Oreo Empire. How did I completely miss the ruthless expansion of the Oreo product line?

Surprisingly, because of a sale, there were no r
egular, plain-vanilla (pun so intended) Oreos remaining. But the shelf space dedicated to other types of Oreos represented the Manifest Destiny of the cookie aisle.

The Strawberry Milkshake Creme Oreos caught my eye first. Pink filling? “Wow” was my only reaction.

Next, I saw the Golden Oreos (golden cookies instead of the traditional chocolate ones), with both white and chocolate filling. When did that happen?

Then the blitzkrieg really started. I felt like one of those cartoon characters (Scooby-Doo?) with the spinning head when all hell breaks lo

Mini Oreos (bite size!) . . . Mini Golden Oreos (bite size!) . . . Double Stuf Oreos Original . . . Double Stuf Oreos Chocolate Creme . . . Double Stuf Oreos Cool Mint Creme . . . Double Stuf Oreos Peanut Butter Creme . . . Reduced Fat Oreos . . . Fudge Covered Oreos.

And on a higher shelf, there were several ancillary products that seemed like a bit of a stretch: Oreo Fudge Rings, Oreo Fudgees and Oreo Fun Stix.

All empires (cookie included) eventually crumble; could this overreaching signal the beginning of the end for Oreo Nation?

As I turned to le
ave, I spotted a single box of another Oreo product sitting lonely on a bare shelf in a nearby aisle, like a distant island far from the motherland.

Will Oreo Cakesters
be the first to cry out for their independence?


McKenzie said...

Although they are terrible for you, I have to admit I'm not opposed to the taste of Oreo cookies. However, the Cakesters are another story. I tried a bite just out of curiosity - AWFUL. Very close to the worst thing I have ever tasted. I have no idea how they've stayed on the market this long.

Chef Rob said...

Haha. What's worse?