Pop (T)art: Suitable for Framing?

(First of two parts)
With so many bizarre flavors of Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts staring me in the face, I’m not sure why I picked the Hot Fudge Sundae flavor as the winner of this week’s Why Does This Product Exist Award.

Was it the colored sprinkles on top of the pictured Pop-Tart? Or was it the hot fudge sundae (vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream and cherry) depicted four (!) times on the box?

Approaching 40, I may be old-fashioned. I’m sure our eight-year-olds probably would have gravitated toward the Frosted Cookies & Creme or Strawberry Milkshake.

The tactics that Kellogg’s employs to draw us to its product can be labeled clever marketing. Is it libelous if I use the term “dangerous visual pornography?” The sensory overload is stunning, seemingly created to turn eating into a video game. Why do we assume children can’t eat a meal without the need to be entertained?

And who are the losers in this extension of play time? Sadly, we are undernourished and overtoxified, and the affects cascade throughout society. The taxation on our health care system due to a myriad of late 20th-century diseases and poor performance on the job and in school are the first two problems that come to mind.

Sorry, Mr. Kellogg, but the nine artificial colors in Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts don’t belong in food. Granted, what you are selling isn’t food, and maybe its consumption is contributing to the prevalence of food allergies, obesity and attention disorders in our children. (Click here for the full ingredient list.)

(Tomorrow: My call to Kellogg’s toll free number)