Monday, January 19, 2009

Top 5 Ridiculous Edible Foodlike Substances of the Week

5. KRAFT MACARONI & CHEESE CHEESE TOPPING – When you consider this sprinkable flavoring costs about the same per pound as Parmigiano-Reggiano—one of the world’s great cheeses—it’s no wonder Kraft includes all those synthetic additives. Buy a chunk of the real stuff and grate it yourself.

4. PERDUE FUN SHAPES BREADED CHICKEN BREAST NUGGETS WITH CHEESE, BASEBALL SHAPES – What fun! Sodium-laced gloves, baseballs and bats! How come no shapes of steroids and overpriced tickets?
3. KELLOGG’S LEGO FRUIT FLAVORED SNACKS – My guess is that these Lego-shaped items are similar to gummi bears. They are also available in many different themes, including Hot Wheels, Barbie and SpongeBob SquarePants.

2. BETTY CROCKER LOONEY TUNES FRUIT FLAVORED SNACKS – The same product as #3, but heaven forbid General Mills (which owns Betty Crocker) misses the boat on wreaking havoc on our kids’ health! Why should Kellogg’s have a monopoly?

And this week’s Why Does This Product Exist Award winner:

1. KELLOGG’S POP-TARTS HOT FUDGE SUNDAE TOASTER PASTRIES – I'll post a longer, multi-part blog on this product later this week. In the meantime, let’s play “Where’s the Food?”

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