"No Dogs Allowed on Lawn"

Be forewarned that this post’s only connection to food is that I was reading a book about nutrition when the following occurred.

Reading and minding my own business in a public park yesterday, a woman walked her dogs on the park’s grass, no more than 10 feet away from a sign that clearly said, “No Dogs Allowed on Lawn.” (Click on the photo for more detail.)

I carry a camera for moments like this and I snapped several photos. The woman noticed me; I returned to my book thinking that was that.

“Do you want to take a photo of this as well?” she asked seconds later, offering her dog’s doodie in her plastic bag-lined hand.

“No,” I said. “But no . . . dogs . . . allowed . . . on . . . lawn.”

“Were you sitting here?”

“No, but I was before.”

“Then I’ll put it back.” (I have to admit that this was a very funny line by her.)

“No . . . dogs . . . allowed . . . on . . . lawn.”

“Mind your business.”

“It is my business.”

“You’re an asshole. My dog was in the hospital all week with seizures.”

“So was I. And what does that have to do with if he takes a crap on the grass or pavement?”

“You’re an asshole.”

“On your walk home, why don’t you think about how selfish you are?”

“You should think about this the next time you are in the hospital with seizures.”

“I’ll send you the photos.”

Unfortunately, instead of giving me her e-mail address, she flipped me the bird. I think I’ll print the photos and tape them to the “No Dogs Allowed on Lawn” sign.